What Happens When the Body Turns on Itself?

On May 8, 2012 I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. Simply put Crohn’s Disease causes the enzymes located in your stomach that normally help break down food and fight off bad germs to go rogue and they begin to attack your stomach lining. Crohn’s is incurable but treatable.

As I drove home from the hospital I remember feeling a whole host of emotions. The meds generally prescribed to treat Crohn’s have serious side effects including various forms of cancers and skin conditions. As a pastor I am constantly meeting with people who are facing life changing moments and here I was counseling myself and praying to God on the ride back to work. Thankfully it was a long ride to work!

As I pulled in to our Greenland Campus I came to the conclusion that God must have a purpose and I must keep my spiritual eyes and ears open. Didn’t realize how quickly He would operate.

During our weekly Director’s Meeting at the church I received a Facebook message from a young woman who has been a frequent attendee at our Raymond Campus, only this message had a sense of urgency with it requesting a meeting almost immediately.

PAULA

We’ll call her Paula. Paula is a bright, and caring young adult who wanted to meet to discuss her new career and concerns she was feeling about her day and her choices. With tons of activities happening at our Raymond Campus I decided we should meet offsite at a local Dunkin Donuts. As we began our meeting it became apparent Paula was struggling with looking at life’s challenges as opportunities and approaching decision making from the right perspective.

WHEN THE BODY TURNS ON ITSELF

I immediately felt led to share with Paula about my recent diagnosis. I told her how my physical body is storing a disease that is eating away at my insides. Yet how many times do we voluntarily incubate and store venomous hurts, pains, habits, and behaviors that do the same? These emotional and spiritual hang-ups eat away at the core of who we are and rob us of many of life’s blessings. But unlike the disease living in me her diseases have a cure found in the Author of Life, and His name is Jesus Christ.  

HOLDING ON TOO TIGHTLY

As the conversation unfolded, Paula finally realized that her problems were far too great to handle on her own and she recognized her need to voluntarily surrender these areas of her life to God. Yet she admitted she was holding on to these destructive forces in her life way too tightly.

FIRECRACKER

Paula has worked in the medical profession for 12 years so it was fitting that God would continue to give me medical examples to help her along the way. I shared with Paula that a firecracker lit on the table before us would not cause either of us any damage. Yet, that same lit firecracker held tightly in the palm of our hands would cause major damage. Paula was holding tightly to too many dangerous emotional and spiritual firecrackers.

I JUST NEED TO SURRENDER

It was now 5:52pm and I looked at Paula and said, so what is standing in the way of you experiencing God’s plans for your life, she answered, “I just need to surrender.” And as quickly as that, Dunkin Donuts in Raymond, New Hampshire became holy ground because the Spirit of God entered in and took residence in that once hurting heart.

MY PRAYER

“Heavenly Father, together we made angels rejoice in heaven today. I pray that whoever is reading this will experience inner healing in their mind, body and spirit. Create in us hearts that are always sensitive, minds that are yielded, and a spirit that is unbreakable in its resolve to see others experience the fullness of Your joy! Only You deserve the praise \o/”

 

 

“DOC, HEALING HURTS!”

“DOC, HEALING HURTS!”

“As parents we can’t protect our children from every threat in life, but we can take them to the Source of Life by entrusting them to God!” Max Lucado

But what happens when the same people who as children we were entrusted to fail to assume their proper roles as guardians and protectors in our lives and walk out?

As a pastor, I get the privilege of sharing some of the finest moments in people’s lives like the birth of a newborn child, the sharing and exchanging of vows in a marriage, birthdays, anniversaries, a loved one who enters into a loving relationship with Jesus. My job doesn’t get any better with days and weeks such as these, if only it could always be surrounding by the cries of a newborn, and laughter of loved ones.

Regrettably, that is not always the case. We must tackle the reality of death as it approaches and impacts our families, issues of substance abuse, poverty, illness, broken families, and lives in search of faith and meaning.

YOUR HAPPINESS + SOMEONE’S MISERY DOESN’T = HAPPINESS

I recently had lunch with an individual who disclosed their desire to leave their spouse and children after many years of marriage. The person kept repeating a phrase, “Pastor Mark I deserve to be happy.” After about the third time I stopped this person mid-sentence and said, “Where did you get the idea that you deserve to be happy if your happiness comes at the expense of someone else’s misery?” The subject of divorce is deeply personal for me, coming from a single parent home myself.

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

But the subjects of divorce, parenting, and honoring thy mother and father were revisited today in the form of an email I received. The email was from a person whose family I have known my entire life. The father came from a very troubled youth, spent time in prison. The mother grew up in one of the worst environments possible, surrounded by prostitution, witchcraft, drugs and alcohol, suicide, sexual assault and much more. These two individuals married and had 3 children and as a result of an adulterous affair their marriage of 18 years came to an end leaving the three children without a present father.

The youngest child sent me this (paraphrased) email…

THE DILEMMA

“As I have been going to church on a more consistent basis I am seeing the importance of doing right not by my own standards, but by God’s standards. Most recently, my brother sent me a picture of my father whom I have not spoken to in many years as a result of the hurt he caused my family. And over the years I convinced myself that I would be fine without his involvement in my life. However, I am now faced with this question: Am I any better as a daughter than he was as a father? Was I right to inflict the same level of pain on him (via my lack of communication and affection) as he did to me? Or was I simply living out the old saying “do two wrongs make it right?” Who really lost out him or me? He is older now and advanced in years and If he died today, I don’t know if I would be okay with the unresolved issues that I believed were once settled in my mind. Is it too late? I am feeling conflicted and its beginning to hurt. I know I can take steps in the healing process but I am so confused. Please tell me your thoughts.

MY RESPONSE

I have had a number of surgeries in my life. The most memorable was on my right wrist. The surgery was necessary because if I did not have it, I jeopardized having a full range of motion in my hand. The recovery process took almost 3 weeks and it wasn’t fun. I went for my post-operative visit and the doctor asked me how I was feeling and I remembered saying this, “Doc, healing hurts.”

What you are describing is the wall that we place around our emotions and the guarded areas of our heart to reduce further hurt from an insensitive world. That wall becomes very rigid as time goes on and our hearts have a hard time knowing where the flesh part of our heart ends and where the wall begins. Eventually, for those of us who have experienced the love of God, that wall begins to crumble as Jesus comes in and begins to take up residence there. And His presence has a way of revealing not only the gentleness of His nature (which now becomes part of our DNA) but it also exposes hurt and pain that were covered for so long. Jesus cannot be in the presence of pain without offering the cure.

As you saw that picture of your father it exposed a hurt that requires a Doctor’s touch, and sometimes healing hurts. My wrist became stronger as the doctor’s incisions began healing from the inside out. I now have a deep scar that reminds me of where I once had a wound, only now the healing process no longer hurts and my hurts are now fully healed.

NOW WHAT?

So what now? What do we do when God begins to take this heart of stone and replaces it with a heart filled with His love? WE RESPOND.

I too was a child who harbored many ill feelings towards my father well into my mid-twenties. As I reconnected with God and the hardness of heart began to fade away, I was gently (well not so gently) reminded by my loving and caring most precious wife that I needed to forgive my father if I was to be the man God intended me to be.

One day I read Exodus 20:12 “Honor your Father and Mother” and I remembered having a debate with God. I said, “But this isn’t fair that he gets the privilege of my forgiveness without suffering what I went through!” And I remembered God whispering to me, “My Word does not say honor thy Father and Mother if they are honorable or worthy of it, it simply says honor them.” I harbored a deep resentment and was reminded of that saying, “Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.” Inside I was dying and I no longer wanted to experience that bitterness, I wanted God’s peace.

So I want to encourage you to take the next steps that I believe God is showing you to reconcile the relationship. It is never too late to start over as long as we still have one more breath left.  Let the healing begin!

Thank you all for indulging me. Love ya’ll!

OOPS, I CAN’T BELIEVE I HIT SEND

OOPS, I CAN’T BELIEVE I HIT SEND.

OOPS, I CAN’T BELIEVE I HIT SEND

I AM GUILTY!

So here is my confession! I am addicted to technology. My wife is probably reading this screaming “YES” DROID, IPAD, LAPTOP, IPOD, I have just about everything that starts with an “I” Someris is constantly on me, “What do you need that for? Can you put that away while we eat?” And on and on it goes. My answer, “But honey, these things allow me to stay in contact with people. I can provide rapid responses. Don’t you realize that people appreciate my timely responses via email, Facebook, text messages etc?” FYI I have a smart wife and she doesn’t buy any of it!

 I have been reading a book called “Spiritual Leadership” by Henry and Richard Blackaby. Check out what the Blackabys had to say about technology, and communication in the 21^st Century.

 “The twenty-first century provides unprecedented opportunities for leaders to impact positively their organizations. However, the new millennium also brings unforeseen challenges to leaders. The digitalized nature of the twenty-first century has created increasing expectations among followers, and the unrelenting advance of technology has made communication both a blessing and a curse. Email and cell phones provide instant access to leaders. In times past, people would write letters or send memos to their leader and then wait for days, or even weeks for a reply. People accepted such delayed responses as a matter of course. Past leaders could take time to ponder their decisions and to consult with advisors before sending a response. Today’s technology, however, has radically changed the dynamics of communications.

Past leaders had certain times in their day when they were inaccessible to people. During such times they could reflect on their situation and make decisions about next course of action. Technology has made today’s leaders constantly and instantly accessible to people. With such access, people often expect immediate responses from their leaders.”

As I was reading this it became painfully obvious that technology truly has made me more connected with people but I also realized that I may not be dedicating the proper time to my communications with people. What do I mean? Matters that require thoughtful process have become very routine for me resulting in quick replies. Email responses that should be carefully written to avoid miscommunications don’t get quite the attention they deserve. Nowadays, we have disagreements with people, terminate friendships, without raising our voices instead we hit send via text on a phone. How does that happen? Relationships that we have nurtured and cared about for many years are quickly done away with. Have we become so tech-driven and savvy in our interactions that we have forgotten the art of communication and conflict resolution?

More importantly, I have been thinking how technology has created a form of addiction in my life and causes me to reflect on other areas of my life this may be affecting.

WHY IS GOD DOING THIS TO ME?

What if technology has made us so accustomed to quick responses, immediate decisions, and instinctive reactions that we have edged God out of the decision making process in our lives entirely? Is it possible that we have become so used to getting answers quickly and instantaneously in this modern age that we have forgotten what its like to wait on God to inform our decisions? Things go horribly wrong in people’s lives based on poor decisions and yet so many are quick to blame God for their own man-made calamities (on Facebook, Twitter and every other media outlet). Meanwhile, God is seeking to instruct, illuminate and bless our steps but we are not patient enough to wait on His plans. And we wonder why the result is oftentimes negative.

HOW AM I COMMUNICATING W/ HIM?

Are our unhealthy communication habits impacting the way we communicate with God? Do we treat Him the same way as we treat others with quick one word letter replies because we’re too lazy to type out the whole word.

Have we forgotten what it’s like to interact with the Author of Life, Creator of the Heavens, Alpha and Omega, the Supreme High God, or have we reduced Him to just another one of the people we encounter daily?

2012

In 2012, my desire is to enter into a relationship so intimate with God that I lose myself in the process. I want to be a person who learns to communicate better by listening more. Let’s type less and invest in meaningful communication. It takes longer but the rewards are far better.

I hope this has blessed you! Tell those around you that you love them, don’t text it, and if necessary use words. I gotta go, my wife said to put down the IPAD.

GIVE ME MY BANANA!

Remember that phrase, “What would you attempt to do, if you knew you couldn’t fail?” I was thinking about that recently as I was meditating on what God would have us do this year in 2012. Should I play it safe or go all out and set extremely high goals? When I play it safe I know it’s attainable and achievable (in my own strength). Or should I dare outlandish goals, goals that make you stay up at night wondering what on earth did I get myself into? These are goals that require an awesome size God to show up alongside me and show out!

We often talk about wanting a more intimate relationship and yet we choose to stay on the seashore of life, in the realm of comfort and tranquility.

Why do so many fear failures? Why does the fear of failure cripple so many into inactivity? For some failure has occurred way too often and because they have the wrong ideas associated with failure they now believe they too are failures as well. I’ve learned…

FAILURE IS AN EVENT, NEVER A PERSON

I have made more mistakes and have experienced more failures than I care to admit. I have lived a life filled with bad decisions, and many selfish ambitions. Does that make my entire life a failure or does it mean I have made decisions that have failed while I the person have learned deeply painful lessons not easily forgotten. I say the latter. The enemy of our souls would want nothing more than to have us believing that people are failures. Remind him that failures are events, never people. 

God Often Accomplishes Good Results Through Failure

This is so true! Ever read that story “The Emperor Has No Clothes On”? For many years I failed miserably in not telling the emperor I was working for that he was exposed and making highly unethical decisions. I got reeled in, and it brought me to a season in my life where I experienced the worst 3 years of my life! However, I had no idea God was using these experiences to bring me back into alignment to achieve His plans for my life. God is able to make right what our failures have made wrong. Everyone fails, but failures aren’t permanent—unless we refuse to learn from our mistakes.

Failure is Often the Price You Pay For Progress

In his book “Confessions of a Pastor” Craig Groeschel said this, “During seasons of failure, God is shaping us. If we take a risk, we might not succeed, but if we avoid all risk, we guarantee we won’t succeed, and we miss so much of what God wants us to learn.” Attempt nothing expect nothing.

Monkey Failures

This story blew me away! Scientists once conducted a very illuminating experiment. In the middle of a room, they hung a bushel of fresh bananas half-way up a pole. Then they let four monkeys loose in the room. Immediately the hungry monkeys dashed toward the bright yellow bananas. As they climbed the pole, one of the scientists blasted the monkeys with icy-cold water.

The monkeys backed off, regrouped, then made a second attempt. As they started to climb the pole, once again they received the discouraging dousing. After several unsuccessful attempts, the monkeys became convinced that failure was inevitable and finally stopped trying.

The next day, the researchers removed one of the four monkeys and replaced him with a new monkey. What did the rookie do? He went straight for the bananas. But before he even reached the pole, the three veterans pulled him away. Undeterred, the new monkey tried again. Again his compassionate roommates intervened. At last he gave up and adopted their fatalistic attitude.

Each day, the scientists replaced one of the original monkeys with a new one. By the fifth day, four monkeys occupied the room, none of whom had ever been sprayed with cold water. From that day forward, whenever a new monkey was traded in, the others would prevent him from going for the bananas…without even knowing why. Four had failed, and then they conditioned the novices to not even try.

The monkeys became convinced that failure was inevitable and finally stopped trying. The conditioned responses of failures are learned. Let’s begin the year right with the proper perspective of failures. They are inevitable and we are all destined to fail at some point. The key is to not succumb to failure but persevere climb that pole and eat some bananas! Sorry I wrote this while hungry. Love ya’ll!

BLOODY BITTERNESS

Every year Bethany Church puts on a great event for women called From the Heart. They invite inspirational speakers who come and lift their spirits and affirm them in the very vital role they play in our world. Live artists perform Christmas classics, while men dressed in black tie attire serve the ladies freshly baked desserts on a platter. This year I was asked to help open up the event for the 500 women in attendance. Just 2 hours before the event I get a phone call that one of our church members who has been battling cancer was rushed to the emergency room and was subsequently admitted to the ICU and was not expected to make it through the night.

I excused myself from the event and drove over to the hospital to be by the family’s side. On a positive note she was far better than the doctor’s forecast! I walked in the room and she greeted me with a soft, “Hi Pastor Mark”. I replied, “You probably thought you could hide from me in the ICU huh? What’s happening lovely lady?” To which she says, “They say I am dying.”

I got to spend a couple hours with her and we talked about life, relationships, the importance of having a faith system, and also how bitterness has a way of stripping away the beauty of how we are purposed to live out our lives.

PREDATORY WOLVES

It got me thinking about an old Eskimos tale about how they handle predatory wolves. In order to protect the families in a village from harm, someone hunts down a rabbit or a squirrel. Then the villagers dip a sharp two-edged knife into the animal’s blood and allow the blood to freeze on its blade. They bury the handle of the knife firmly in the ground with the blood-covered blade exposed.

During the night, a wolf inevitably smells the blood and approaches to investigate. It starts to lick the knife blade. The frozen blood and cold metal have a numbing effect on the wolf’s tongue as he continues to lick. Eventually, he slices his own tongue on the blade, and he tastes his own warm blood. Numb to the pain, the wolf licks faster and faster and faster. Without realizing it, he slices his own tongue to shreds. By the time he knows what’s happened, too much damage has been done. The wolf slowly bleeds to death. Pretty gruesome don’t you think?

But doesn’t bitterness have a way of infiltrating our lives with a most dangerous subtlety that leaves us equally as damaged as the wolf in this story? As humans we can easily rationalize and even justify why our resentment and bitterness is warranted. I call that the licking of the blade stage. Bitterness when left unchecked has a way of inflicting wounds that are not easily visible or immediately felt. Much like the knife we are drawn to a source we thought would satisfy a need when in reality it is slowly stripping away the very lifeline that was originally designed to give us life.

The wolf can’t even tell the difference when he is no longer experiencing the blood from the knife or itself until the damage is too late. Bitterness causes far greater damage from the inside out than it does from the outside in. The blessing is that we are able to free ourselves from those destructive forces simply by forgiving. And if that’s a hard concept for you, I would love to introduce you to my Father in heaven who made it possible for me to live without the anger and rage that had me bound.

HEAVY BAGGAGE

As I drove back to the event from the ICU last night I was once again reminded about the importance of travelling through life without heavy baggage. What do I mean by heavy baggage? Anything that strips away your values, hinders your development of healthy relationships with God, friends or loved ones, or has caused a root of bitterness to set up shop in your heart. This season please take time to make amends, and forgive. We are not guaranteed tomorrow so why leave for tomorrow what you can do today and may regret not having done when you had the opportunity.

Together we can make angels rejoice (Luke 15:10)

Clinging to Grace,

Mark

 

 

I HAVE A VISION FOR YOU

“I HAVE A VISION FOR YOU”

It was May of 2009 and there I was sitting in the parking lot at the Abercrombie and Finch Restaurant in North Hampton, NH early for a meeting with Bruce Boria, Senior Pastor of Bethany Church in Greenland, NH. This meeting was a result of a comment he made to me a year prior while I was attending Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit at his church. He said, “Mark, let’s make it a point to meet I HAVE A VISION FOR YOU.”

I happened to arrive 15 min. early and as I was preparing to exit my vehicle I hear the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “spend some time with me.” I get back in my car and put in one of my favorite worship CDs. In the interest of transparency, I was experiencing one of the single worst personal leadership crises of my life. As the music filled my car with the sounds of heaven I began weeping like a child when my spirit was instantly quieted with these words, “I am about to reveal the next steps of your life today.”

LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING

I entered the restaurant and shortly thereafter Pastor Bruce arrived. First thing out of his mouth, “Hey Mark do you remember the words I shared with you last year at the Leadership Summit?” I said, “Of course, you said you had a vision for me. How could I forget that?” He replies, “Remember the vision I shared with you about revitalizing the spiritual landscape of New England? I want you to help lead that for me as the Campus Pastor.” Here I was at my most vulnerable moment, and took a hold of that word God whispered to me. Looking back, His word has always been true and sustained me during moments like these. There is something tremendously liberating when you can learn to lean not on your own understanding, but trust Him and God promises to always direct our paths.

Fast forward the clock, I begin to volunteer my services to Bethany for the next 10 months before I was officially offered the job as Campus Pastor in Raymond, NH. One year later on May 15, 2011 we had our very first worship service at our new multisite campus.

Since that time we have seen God move in miraculous ways and we rejoice greatly as He continues to bless the labor of our hands.

SO WHY A BLOG?

I am not one to journal or blog and quite honestly I am shy about talking about the many God stories that happen at Bethany. Why? Because I am always afraid that people might think I am taking credit for what God is doing. Yes, so let me be crystal clear GOD is the reason, inspiration, author, supplier, initiator, creator, mastermind, of all that is happening at our Raymond Campus.

A few months ago one of our most beloved ministry partners and wonderful woman of God in Greenland (Mary Anne Robinson) looked at me and said, “Mark I hope you are recording all that God is doing in you and through your ministry.” I immediately felt as though God was using her to speak into my heart. I looked at Mary Anne and asked why do you ask? She said something that “rocked” me!

“The Lord has used you to launch a church in New England arguably the darkest region in the country under the worst economic climate this nation has experienced in over 70 years and the church is thriving. God is obviously up to something and the story must be told and YOU must tell it.”

So this blog is my attempt at sharing with you:

• The many lessons God is teaching me as we journey together
• Random observations (some thought provoking and some funny) I love humor.
• Life-change moments as we see them unfold when people’s lives are radically transformed by the power of God
• My stories detailing my successes, failures, and shortcomings as a Husband, a young Pastor, Father, Leader, Servant, and Lover of Jesus Christ.

MAKING ANGELS REJOICE

Lastly, the name Making Angels Rejoice comes from one of my favorite passages in scriptures found in Luke 15:10 “¹⁰ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

I love to make angels rejoice, and keep the party going in heaven. We have the unique privilege of being a part of God’s story for all of humanity in sharing the good news to people who are hurting and need to experience wholeness that can only be achieved by the Holiness of God. Together we can make angels rejoice. Won’t you join me in this adventure?

In His grip,

Mark